create in me

Oh hello sinful nature, didn't expect to see you here...

Whew, what a week!  You won't believe it.  Shelly followed me all the way to Thailand.  She packed up her nasty, disgusting bags and hopped on the plane in Birmingham.  Haven't really noticed her until this past week, but boy did she make an appearance!

Thank You, Lord, for showing me the parts of me that I don't want to see; the parts that break Your heart and give satan a playground.  The parts of me that look like a clogged toilet.  Lord, the parts of me that You've put as far as the east is from the west from my identity.  God, those parts that held Jesus to the cross, that now are so far from me that I look like Christ when You see me.

"...for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ" - Galatians 3:27
" For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." - Colossians 3:3


This week has been tough seeing the sin in my life.   One thing is for sure though, we're never alone.  In the last blog I said something about being a team and learning and growing as a team and the Body.  It's still true.  I'm not the only one in Thailand seeing the faithfulness of God.  In showing us our sin, He's shown us much more about Himself.  When I see the greatness of my sin I see my need for the Gospel and my need for the saving grace He's so mercifully bestowed upon us.  In seeing my sin, I see my faith grow.  I see the parts of my heart that hurt my Jesus.  I remember there is no strength apart from struggle and that He is sovereign.  I remember that I'm not here as Shelly for Shelly, but here as Shelly, a daughter of the King, for the Kingdom and the glory of God.  One thing I know that is greater than my sins is the grace by which they are covered.

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." - 1 Peter 5:10


I've been blessed over and over this week.  Last night God so graciously afforded me the opportunity to talk about Him and Christ with someone who knew almost nothing of the two.  Who am I to represent the Lord?  Answer:  His chosen ambassador.

We listened to a sermon a few days ago by Tim Keller titled "Blessed Self-Forgetfulness".  Have you ever tried to forget yourself?  I mean really tried!  I would say if you've tried, then you've failed.  And if you haven't thought about it then chances are, you've failed as well.   I know, welcome to a world where you're best isn't good enough.  Isn't it beautiful!  "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is make perfect in weakness.'  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:9)  The scripture used in the sermon was 1 Corinthians 3:21-4:7.  The part that made my ears perk up was in verse 3 of chapter 4.  Paul writes, " I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself."  What!?  Who does Paul think he is making such a statement.  Not only does he not care what others think, but he's even belittled his own thoughts concerning himself.  And we, we cannot even get away from ourselves.  Like I said, Shelly packed up and took a vacation to Thailand.  If we aren't building ourselves up and taking pride in the way we look, the wealth we've obtained, our talents and even our 'spirituality', we tear ourselves down and get caught up in self-condemnation.  Either way, it's all about us.  Paul had reached the understanding that even his evaluation of himself was not in any way tied to his identity.  Convicted?  I think so, and for good reason.  We are good at saying our salvation is in God and that we are hidden in Christ, but we are also good at not living in that.

Lord, I am weak.  I am selfish and self-consumed, wrapped up in what others think, wicked beyond what my mind can even comprehend.  But, even these things are not tied to my identity.  I pray that by Your grace I will forever find my identity in Christ, resting in the sonship along with Him.  I am Your's and You are mine.  Create in me a pure heart, O Lord, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Make me more like a child....