Thursday, June 23, 2011

BIG kingdom or little kingdom?

I have one question for you, "Which kingdom do you serve, the big kingdom (God's) or the little kingdom (yours)?  I know you want to say "The big kingdom, that's a no brainer."  I would be willing to bet, however, that isn't the case.  Don't worry, I know that I have spent much energy, time and resources building up the "Kingdom of Shelly".  I'm not writing to point fingers but to point out something I've read this week and that has been on my heart.  I'm reading the book A Quest For More by Paul Tripp.  I started it earlier in the summer at the same time I started another book and it just lost my interest in comparison.  I made it to the end of chapter three and put it down.  I was really thinking that after I finished the first book that I would try another book, but I asked our team leader if he liked it and his face slightly lit up at the mentioning.  He said he really liked it, so who was I to argue his opinion.  I picked it back up and took another stab at it.  I had heard that it was a slow starter and now I'm a believer.  Chapter four, "Welcome to My Little Kingdom", is where the book really takes a turn for the best (solely my opinion), and chapter six is what hit so heavy.  "The Costume Kingdom" chapter was eye-opening to say the least.  It starts off with a definition of masquerade.

mas-quer-ade: to pretend to be someone or something that you are not 


"The bottom line:  The most dangerous thing about the kingdom if self is how easily it masquerades as the kingdom of God."

Whoa!!  Heart-check anyone?  I've heard about living for the different kingdoms, but to mask one to look like the other?  I've seen many times where I've built up a nice, neat, little kingdom with a population of one.  I know there is sin in my heart that will cause me to do it many times before I see Jesus in the air, but it stung and caught me off guard that I was so good a painting a mask.  I've painted a masterpiece that I've pulled out many times and worn around that makes me look like I'm living for the kingdom of God, but really at the root of my actions are selfish ambitions.  And to think, I've even fooled myself many times!

"It is quite possible for you to be convinced that you are living for the transcendent glories of the kingdom of God when you are, in fact, living for yourself.  Be warned!  Be scared!  The little kingdom is a costume kingdom, and it is deviously promoted by a costume king -- Satan himself.  The little kingdom will quite regularly don the latex masks of outward participation in worship, obedience, and ministry.  It will appear as though it is serving the King of kings and Lord of lords, when daily it is bowing before the throne of self.  Driven by earth-bound treasures and anxiety-bound needs, its worship can only be the worship of self."-- A Quest For More, Paul David Tripp

I'm quite confident that I'm not alone.  If I were there would be little reason for this author to have written this chapter and little experience from which he was motivated.  This is something I believe most Christians don't realize.  Most of us will sometimes become aware that we are serving the kingdom of self but will not truly understand, nor conceive how big that tiny little thing seems.  You know, I hate to keep quoting the book, but then again, I don't.  The truth is the truth, and when it's good, it's good.

"If you look around in your life and the lives of fellow Christians, you will see fruit that is not the result of a joyful commitment to the transcendent glories of God's kingdom.  Instead, these things are the fruit of serving the self, while masquerading as living for the King.  Bad fruit results because 'less' has taken on the costume of 'more.'  In a very illusive way, the transcendent glories of the kingdom of God have been shrunk down to the size of my earth-bound treasures and my anxiety-bound needs.  It is not the fruit of remembering the Father and being freed to give myself to his kingdom.  No, it is the fruit of forgetting the Father and making sure that I actually get what I have told myself I need.  And remember, all this takes place in the form of worship, obedience, and ministry."

Gross!  It's absolutely repulsing to think that I've built my own kingdom and serve myself as the ruler of that dinky, unstable, pitiful-looking thing.  All of this seems silly when I think of the kingdom of God in all of it's glory (more than my human mind is capable of grasping really).  Shellyland has a population of one and that one is completely consumed with herself.  Heaven holds many called by Him and for Him, all of which are serving One much, much bigger than themselves.  We've traded in more for less and we don't even realize.

God, I confess to You that I have my own kingdom.  I confess to You that not only do I have my own kingdom, but it's up and running regularly.  I confess to You that I'm selfish and that I've lived for much less than what my original design intended.  God, in the moments You've written out for these words to weigh heavy on my heart, I trust You.  I trust that grace is lavished upon me, that You know what's best, that You are working all things together for my good, and that You spared not Your own Son.  Lord, thank You.  

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