Monday, June 24, 2013

endurance, character, hope

The quickness with which life passes by is astonishing to me at the very least. My mind is far too feeble even to take it all in. We are constantly in and out of seasons; usually out before we've realized we were ever in. This must be where growing age leaves us; in the midst of a whirlwind I think. Time is something that I have an urge to reach out and grasp but am unable. I can no more grab and control time than I could pull a blue whale out of the ocean with bare hands. The impossibility and lack of control, where do they leave me? At the hand and mercies of the God who made time and made me to live the moments He ordained. I wish at times for some moments to linger a bit longer and for others to get the heck out of Dodge. I can't, I can't rush time or slow it down. I can only live and trust. My words will at their best only appear poorly put together in an expression of how truly thankful I am  that I don't have the ability to submit time to my will.  Why at times, when we want it to stop so we can savor it, does life seem to be in fast forward and when we long to hit the fast forward button it seems to be on pause? I don't have a clear cut answer, but a sense that His thoughts and ways are higher than mine.  Beyond the shadow of doubt, I know blessing comes from living what seems to be paused. Had I the ability to scene select my life I would cheat myself of growth and awe of the God Who is faithfully working in my heart to change it. If I were able to move from seeing my faults, failures, sin right into holiness in those areas I miss seeing The Lord working, I miss the battle and the fight and rob myself of the victory experience. I would too. I would do it so quickly sometimes and without second thought.  Oh, what a sinner I am. I serve comfort and beckon peace. The Spirit in me moves me to serve the Father and beckon His presence. My flesh fails me. I fail the Spirit. I rejoice in suffering that it does produce 'endurance,  and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us' (Romans 5:3-5). My heart has been brought low and is now being restored in new ways. He has allowed me to suffer at this and lead me straight to hope. Paul was spot on. In suffering, I've learned the necessity of perseverance and I have changed and I now have hope. Afforded the opportunity, in the dawn of suffering, I would have skipped this irreplaceable blessing to get right to the breakthrough, the 'feel good again' part. I struggle to express suitably how much I am in awe and thanks before God that He has written my life and that He works things together for good and for His glory. Truly, His love never fails and it never gives up. He alone gets credit for such a love. We can't and so we don't. 

Father, set eternity not just in my mind, but in the front. Let me see with eternal lenses. Father, grow in me a love for renewal and for holiness and righteousness. Continue growing in me a love for the roads we must take to arrive at holiness and righteousness. Strengthen your sons and daughters to take up and put on Christ. He has been given, may we partake and rejoice. I fall into Your arms. Have Your way in me. Oh, my God, I love You.