Friday, April 6, 2012

overwhelmed

“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!  How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!

‘For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?’

‘Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?’

For from him and through him and to him are all things.  To him be glory forever. Amen.”  Romans 11:33-36

I’m overwhelmed with thankfulness as I think of all I’ve seen the Lord moving in this semester.  I know that my words are insufficient to offer thanks to Him for His love and for His grace.  There are many things He’s shown me and put on my heart in the past few months.  I have much to praise Him for and the best part is that He’s shown me some of it!  My heart is compelled to love Him because He is more than worthy of my love and because He loves me and shows me what love is. 

In this attempt to share of what He’s doing, I know I will leave things out and some people will go unmentioned.  However, I trust in His sovereignty and that He will get the glory He deserves apart from my communication abilities and memory.  I’ve been reminded lately of His love for me.  We talk so much about God bringing all things together for His glory that it has been easy to overlook His love for us.  I am not offended that He is in control and that His name is glorified, I just haven’t found joy in His love for me many times.  In the story of the fall, “The Jesus Storybook Bible” says it like this,

                “God loved his children too much to let the story end there.  Even though he knew he would suffer, God had a plan – a magnificent dream.  One day, he would get his children back.  One day, he would make the world their perfect home again.  And one day, he would wipe away every tear from their eyes. 

                You see, no matter what, in spite of everything, God would love his children – with a Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.

                And though they would forget him, and run from him, deep in their hearts, God’s children would miss him always, and long for him – lost children yearning for their home.”

The Lord says of Himself in Exodus 34:6-7 “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin…”.  And Jesus in John 15:13-14 calls us friends and says, “Greater love has no one than this that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

What is love?

According to Webster’s:  unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.  But John Piper points out that Love is Sacrifice, Suffering, Dying.  The two are intertwined and they are true of the God who has called me to Himself.  Paul writes about God in Philippians 1 that he is sure “that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ”.  Paul has experienced the loyalty of the Father.  As Easter is quickly approaching, we are reminded of His sacrifice, His suffering, and His death.  What better example of love have we to know?  None.  His surpasses them all.  Humility overtakes me when my heart ponders His love.  I am not only undeserving, but ill-deserving.  I am not worthy of His love and grace.  I deserve death and hell for the rebellion in my heart. 

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved – and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.  For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” – Ephesians 2:4-10

If I were to talk about His love every second until the day I die, I still would be lacking in sufficient praise.  But here I will mention many evidences of His love and praise Him for it.

I have a conviction for pouring my life into others.  I think this was manifest this past summer as I labored alongside a woman giving close to every ounce of herself away for the sake of the Gospel to go forth into the nation of Thailand.  She has a real love for God and, through His grace, a real love for the students at Khon Kaen University.  Four of us were put on her team to go with her as she built relationships with a group of students learning to teach English.  She served us and them in many ways, but what comes to mind in the moment is the example she served as.  I think it was in this that I have grown to love giving my own life away.  What use is it if it’s not used for the furthering of His kingdom?  My time here is short and I want to spend it on Him; He is more powerful, more majestic, more holy, more divine, longer-lasting, full of more grace than any other thing I could live for.  I have found much in Him and hope for others to as well.

This semester has been so much fun and super encouraging.  Last semester was tough and time was tight.  I can remember scheduling classes for this semester and seeing how great my classes would be and how much more disposable time I would have and I would catch myself neglecting to live in that present time.  My thoughts often navigated to this semester and the ease I felt would accompany me.  So far, I haven’t been wrong.  Time is still tight; the difference is I have more freedom in how I spend it.  In January, just before school was about to start, I felt the Lord leading me to be intentional with girls this semester.  This is my last semester taking classes on campus and, like I said, my classes are cake in comparison to my classes in the fall.  Anyway, I felt like I was in a place that I could do this and was able to quit my job on good terms and start pursuing girls.  I love challenging girls in their walk.  I have been challenged for the past three years and through it God has been shaping and strengthening my faith.  I would love similar experiences for others.  God has given me much to know about Him and He has allowed me to sit under much teaching and training. I am now called to give that away.  “Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more”-Luke 12:48.  He has given me girls to give it to.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to lead a bible study within Alpha Delta Chi as well as push two different groups of girls to an understanding of the Gospel.  One of the girls has even come alongside me to lead one of the groups.  My heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness and with joy as I have been allowed to see girls grow in their faith and receive a vision for others to know about God what He has made known to them.  I don’t by any means think myself worthy of this or have the knowledge necessary to point girls toward the cross.  The Spirit within me enables me.  I’ve discovered something that may sound extremely egotistical and I don’t mean for it to at all, but I have been given a position of influence.  I know that people look up to me and that my opinion is valued.  I feel ridiculous even typing that, arrogant in a way.  But I think in this knowledge I now am to live to a higher standard.  If I were to live like I didn’t influence others, I think that it would be like me stealing something from the Lord.  I can’t take from Him what is His apart from His allowing me to, but for me to live a frivolous life would be a waste of what I have received.  He has given me favor with others for many reasons.  And I will say, and I would hope this is always the case but it won’t be, I will fail and sin, I will say “Yes Lord, I will live in such a way that I acknowledge what You have given me and will make the most of every opportunity so that Your love may be known wherever my life exists.  May it exist and may my heart beat only if it is to Your glory, never to my own.  Be my words, be my hope, be my strength and my security, guide my feet and captivate my heart and mind.”

Remember the story we looked at about the Fall earlier?  Well, today has been set aside for us to recall that God did come back for His beloved children.  He sent His Son into the world as the Rescuer.  As I type this, we are in the sixth hour and in Matthew we read that from the sixth hour to the ninth hour there was darkness all over the land.  Jesus had spent the last ten or plus hours enduring pain beyond our comprehension.  The night before, He spent time in fellowship with His closest friends and by morning they had all abandoned Him.  It was said of his betrayer that it would have been better for him to have not been born.  He was accused by the very ones who called themselves God’s.  He had been stripped of His clothes and mocked as the King.  He was beaten beyond recognition and the very hands that had healed many were secured to a cross by Roman soldiers’ hammers beating nails into His wrists.  His body was broken and His blood poured out that I may receive forgiveness.  He hung before His Father accused of every wicked thing I have ever done, and not my sin only, but the sin of all those who will one day come into His kingdom, lay on Him.  He endured ALL of God’s anger, ALL of God’s hatred, ALL of God’s righteous indignation toward sin and He endured separation from God so that we, as a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, and a people for His own possession, can stand before God pure, as if we had never sinned.  What a story! What a God!

“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.  The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.  Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.  And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.”  1 John 3:1-3

Lord, Thank You.